Memories
by EtainBlack
Summary: First in the "Memories" series. A series of one-shots. Some stories will be kind of sad, meaning that the characters will have to deal with the loss of their loved ones. Other stories will be happier, focusing on the relationship between the characters. This is a bit different from what I usually write but I hope you'll still give it a try.
A/N: This is my first Until Dawn story, I hope you'll like it. It's not a happy one but I meant it to be kind of sad. The pairing is Sam/Ashley, I just love them as a couple but unfortunately there are not many stories with this pairing. This will most likely be a series of one-shots which can be read singularly, all of them will have the two main characters (Ashley and Sam) mourning either the loss of their partner or of some of their friends. Please let me know if you have any suggestion. Now enjoy!

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 **Chapter one: Memories**

If you had happened to see her before you'd never believe she was the same person. Who was she now? She'd become an empty shell of the lively girl she once was. Ever since her girlfriend died Ashley tried to forgive herself, she tried to forget the dreadful events of that horrible night but she couldn't, she didn't want to.

In the years they'd been a couple Sam had become a huge part of the person she was now, she'd always been there when Ash needed her. She had provided to her every need since the first day they met, firstly being a good friend when they were children, then being a wonderful girlfriend when they'd finally confessed their affection toward each other. Sam had been her rock throughout her life. When her parents divorced after twenty years of marriage her blond girlfriend was there to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and make her believe that love existed nonetheless. Real love, the one where you'd put your life on the line for your lover's sake. Ashley believed her every word, and she had been right because in the end giving up her life was exactly what Sam did.

Now she was alone. On the outside it may seem as if she wasn't but on the inside she felt completely and utterly alone. Even if her friends, the two who survived the tragedy, did their best to support her and be close to her, she felt empty. They couldn't understand her pain.

Sure they had suffered too when Emily, Mike, Matt and Jessica died that night of two years ago, but they didn't know what it meant to lose the most important person in their life over a stupid mistake.

She had told her not to move, Sam had warned her but she had been so scared. The Wendigo was so close to them, Ashley couldn't stand still. It was a primal instinct. A single step backwards was all it took to make the monster turn and head in her direction. As that thing hurried toward her she saw her life pass before her eyes, she saw every single moment. Memories of when she was a child, memories of happy moments spent with her friends and mostly memories of Sam. She was sure that would be the end, that she wouldn't be able to look into Sam's kind green eyes and tell her she loved her again. In a way that turned out to be true but now she only wished it had been the other way around.

As the Wendigo got close to her, she stared into its milky eyes. Petrified with fear she just hoped that Sam would be able to turn on the lights and get away from that nightmare. Ashley couldn't see her girlfriend as the monster blocked her sight but she was able to hear her voice.

"Hey!"

Sam. She didn't immediately understand what it meant but a moment later it all occurred to her. Her girlfriend was saving her life in exchange for hers. She was making the extreme sacrifice, she loved her enough to give up her life just to allow her to live.

Ever since that night she saw that moment everyday. She perfectly recalled the look on Sam's face as the monster put its arm right through her stomach. She saw it tear apart the love of her life, that wasn't something she was going to forget. Ashley remembered every single detail, how she used the time Sam had given her to escape and set the house on fire, and how guilty she felt afterwards knowing that if she hadn't moved maybe her life could have been spared.

But here she was almost two years later, crying again in front of her girlfriend's grave. She visited the cemetery everyday, it made her feel close to Sam once again. It was like the soft wind embraced her like Sam's arms had done for the last time so long ago. She didn't know if it was only her mind playing tricks on her but sometimes she swore she could hear her name being whispered. However when she turned around, nobody was there.

The first times she had heard the whisper she had tried to think of a logical explanation, disregarding it as a product of her mind. During the last months though she'd been hearing it more often and she was no longer able to deny its existence. She was either becoming crazy or Sam had really, even in the afterlife, found a way to make her feel better, less lonely. Ashley liked to think it was the second option even if it probably wasn't good for her to spend all her time mourning in the graveyard.

She knew she should try to move on, her parents and friends kept telling her but she didn't want to. She wanted to remember Sam and feel close to her for the rest of her life. She didn't care much about anything else, she no longer had plans for her future. She remembered when she and Sam would spend entire afternoons just chilling in the open air and imagining what their future would be like. They wanted to move in together, finish their studies, get married, maybe adopt a child and live their happily ever after. However none of that was possible now.

Ashley had dropped out of university a couple of months after Sam's death, no longer being able to concentrate on anything but her pain. She had found a part-time job as a waitress at a local diner and spent her days waiting for the next time she would be able to visit the graveyard to hear that whisper again. She knew her family and friends were worried, they had convinced her to see a psychologist but she stopped her sessions after only a few months as she saw no real progress. The pain had become a part of her being.

More tears fell from her eyes and onto Sam's grave, staining the flawless white snow that covered it. She shuddered from the cold as she clutched the heart shaped necklace her girlfriend had given her for their third anniversary. Inside it held a photo of them from a time when they were happy and full of hope and dreams.

"Ash?" A voice behind her startled the girl who was too lost in her thoughts to notice what was going on around her. "Ashley? Are you alright? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you"

Ashley quickly dried her tears, she didn't want to be caught crying again even after months since Sam's death. Her friends thought she was doing better, she wasn't going to let them down. The brunette was more comfortable with hiding her pain than go through the whole - _let's pity Ashley_ \- again.

"Don't worry Josh. You didn't" she put a forced smile on her face and turned around.

Chris and Josh were both staring at her with that pitying look she hated so much. She couldn't stand their efforts to make her feel better, saying that she should forget what happened on that mountain once and for all. It wasn't that easy. It angered her when they made it seem easy. Sure, Josh had lost two sisters and his friends but he still had Chris. It had been hard for them too but they had each other, they were lucky to have the person they loved by their side to help them get through the pain.

The girl's green eyes looked up at the gray sky just in time to see the first snowflakes falling around them, covering even more of the already snow covered ground.

"Ashley what are you doing here? We've been looking everywhere for you..." Chris looked very concerned, "You left so suddenly"

The brunette couldn't hear their worries anymore. Sure, she was glad to have such great friends but sometimes she just needed a break. After all she wasn't a baby, she was able to take care of herself for more than ten minutes without being checked up on.

"What does it seem I'm doing, Chris?" she snapped at the boy.

Ashley wanted to hit herself for the fresh tears that were starting once again to flow down her cheeks. She knew she was weak and was still trying to gather the strength to accept what had happened and move on with her life once and for all, but she didn't want to show her weaknesses to other people. She couldn't afford to appear as crushed as she really was if she wanted them to give her a little bit of space.

"Ash..." Josh started trying to calm her down "Today it's Christmas, you should be celebrating with us and our families but instead you run off to be here by yourself" his tone of voice was a sweet and understanding one but Ashley couldn't help but feel offended.

"I'm not by myself!"

Chris and Josh both looked puzzled and she realized that wasn't exactly the smartest thing to say if she didn't want her friends to worry. It made her seem as if she was seeing things and hearing voices. Well, maybe it wasn't a total lie. She WAS hearing voices.

"What do you mean?" Josh inquired while looking around to see if someone else was there.

"N-nothing... Forget I said anything" the brunette mumbled, hoping that he would let it go. The two boys shared a meaningful look but decided not to ask further questions, they didn't want to upset Ashley more than they already did.

Chris and Josh had been by her side almost 24/7 since Sam's death. They had seen Ash at her worst. The first weeks were pure hell for her. She did nothing but cry, trying to separate herself from the rest of the world to find some comfort in her memories. They were worried, along with her family, because even after almost two whole years she was still blocked in the past, not even trying to move on. It was clear that she would never be the same again, the piece she was missing was too big to just forget or replace.

"Okay…" Chris reluctantly agreed, then he moved to stand closer to her, "Come on, now. Everyone is waiting for you"

Even though Ashley didn't feel like going back to the party, she didn't want to worry her friends anymore since it was Christmas.

"Alright, can you just give me a moment?"

"Of course, Ash" Josh said then he pointed to a nearby bench, "We'll be waiting right there"

Ashley watched for a bit as he took Chris' hand in his own and started walking to the bench. This brought new tears to her eyes. She was happy for them but she was also incredibly jealous. What they had was similar to what she and Sam had before the tragedy. They used to go on double dates many times when she was still alive. Now memories were all she had left.

She once again fell to her knees on the soft snow in front of her girlfriend's grave and looked at Sam's picture. It was taken only a few weeks before that night, she looked happy, confident, full of hope and alive. Her eyes were so full of love and her smile so bright that it made Ashley's heart ache. She'd give anything just to hold her in her arms one more time. At least to give her a proper goodbye.

"I miss you so much, Sammy" she whispered to the wind, head down and snow still falling around her, "Everyday" she caressed the new flowers she had put on the grave earlier. "I still love you, Sam. I know you'd want me to be happy and move on but I can't. I feel too connected to you to even think about it"

She stayed there in silence for a few more minutes, just listening to the sound of the wind that seemed to bring some kind of comfort for her soul. She wanted to stay there with Sam but she knew she had kept her friends waiting long enough so she slowly got on her feet and turned around toward Chris and Josh.

Just as she did though, she heard it again. The whisper. Sam's voice calling her, she wasn't imagining things. Her girlfriend was trying to offer what comfort she could even if they couldn't see nor touch each other.

 _Ash, be happy. I love you, you'll never be alone_.

She immediately spun around to face the grave but as usual nobody was there. However she was sure that it had been Sam's voice so she smiled, this time for real.

"Merry Christmas, Sammy" she whispered to the wind, "I'll be back tomorrow"

When she reached the boys they both smiled while they enveloped her in a warm hug that made her feel instantly better. She may have lost the love of her life, but sometimes she forgot how lucky she was to still have such caring people around her to pick up the tiny pieces of her shattered heart and slowly put it back together. And even if she may feel alone, even in the darkest on times deep down she knew she wasn't. A blond kind hearted angel named Sam was constantly watching over her.

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A/N: Okay this was the first one. Let me know if you liked it!


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